Party of Four

Meanwhile, Back in the South

2009-03-03T12:39:00.000-08:00

Last week, well, most of the last 2 weeks, our family took a trip back home to OK. Jim was part of a wedding and we figured that as long as we were flying across the country, we ought to turn it into a vacation. And did we ever do that.

It was a 10 day trip that turned into 11 due to weather and it was truly balm for a couple of homesick souls. So busy and fun filled that Jarrett told us he did not want to come back to Jersey. (I'm not sure, but that may have been a commentary on the good times I supply around here on a day to day basis)

One of the first things we did there was head to Fairfax to see Jim's folks and all the cousins. We were so blessed that this happened to be one of the weekends that all 5 of them were there and that it was also James' 7th birthday party. We had a great time watching the kids just jump into life with a heap of cousins and to tell the truth, it made us both a bit sad about living so far away from everyone.

Jarrett the Reindeer

Cara right in the middle of all the big kids.

Barney and Donna's new place required them to clear off several lots. Jarrett thought this was an adventure park. We could hardly get him to come inside the house for birthday cake.

There was a whole lot of wrestling going on and Cara was often right in the middle of it.

Do you think she loves birthday cake?

Jim and his folks. Would you believe that Hazel was thrilled to have everyone together?

Who doesn't love a tire swing?

Giving thanks for the cheeseburgers to come.

I think her Grandpa might be smitten.

She's a giggle box.

All 7 (!) grandkids. I think Grandma and Grandpa's hearts just expanded with each one.

This is exactly how Cara likes to start the morning...and I think it was fine with Grandma too.

Jarrett and Greendad have a lot in common; a passion for soft serve ice cream is tops among them.

Another special thing we did while in OK was to get together with a couple of families whose kids lived with Cara both in the SWI in Zhangjiang and also in TCH in Dongguan. It was a gorgeous day in the park and then we went to dinner at a great restaurant that had a large private room. There were 6 kids and 6 adults, so that room was probably a good thing for our group and the rest of the customers in that day.

Little daredevil.

Action shot.

Surprise bonus! Ran into some wonderful old friends while in the park. We spent a lot of time with this family when we lived in Tulsa and though we have kept in touch through the odd email and Christmas cards, it was nice to actually get to do a bit of catching up.

The kids all enjoyed petting this dog, Wheezy. Very sweet and well mannered 18 month old boxer. I don't know how much longer we are going to make it without a dog...it's like some sort of gravitational pull.

Cara spent a lot of time during dinner that night making sure her "old friend" was doing okay. She would straighten his bib, hold his sippy cup, hand him something to eat. It was so sweet and kind of shocking since most of the time she is a little imp.

3 TCH Buddies

Shriner in the making?

We decided to make this a true vacation and tried to plan a fun activity for each day. On this day Jim, J and Greendad went fishing. I think it was cold but J said it was a lot of fun. Cara and I went with Mimi and Ethel to check something out at a cemetery. Now, that may not sound like a "fun activity" for Cara but it was during nap time, which she took full advantage of, and napping is definitely one of her favorite activities. Takes after her Momma. On a separate note...did you know that Bob Wills and Sam Kinneson are buried in Tulsa?

I don't know why J loves fishing so much...he doesn't actually do much of it.

I hate to encourage any OU inclinations...but I know this photo will make the kids' Uncle Robert smile.

The next day's fun activity was a trip Mohawk Park and the zoo. It was a gorgeous day, bordering on hot...in February!

If you are taking a pic of J...you are likely to be taking an "action shot".

Keely spent a lot of time corralling J and C. They are strangely fast on the take-off.

Jarrett took a brief pause for a pic with Mimi.

I love these ladies! They are still raising me, at 40+, and never complain.

Look at what Greendad found loose at the zoo!

The zoo was a workout.

Jarrett loved looking at the elephants.

Ethel and Mime stayed in the hotel room across the hall and the kids had a great time running over there to play...they even brought a toybox!

Another fun activity...Greendad and Nanita (Mimama) took us to the Tulsa Aquarium. I think it was Anita's idea and it was a great one! The kids loved it and so did the adults. I would actually like to go back someday and just sit under the sharks and daydream. Very relaxaxing.

They fed the turtles,

Posed with Nanita,

Pet sharks and stingrays,

And fed their new toys to the gator.

That evening, we ordered a bunch of pizzas and had friends and family over to the hotel to eat and visit in the "continental breakfast" room. It was hilarious watching all those kids sit and eat calmly together, and then roll around on the floor together. One friend that was there compared them to puppies...pretty good way to put it.

The next morning, we loaded up the car and headed to Branson for the wedding. Auntie and Uncle went with us to play and also watch the kids during the evening while we did wedding stuff. The kids had a great time with them and they all had big adventures in the hotel...great stories! Unfortunately...no photos. The one below we took as they were leaving us at the airport.

The trip to the airport was kind of a bust because when we got there we found out the first leg of our trip was cancelled due to weather. So, we loaded the car back up and headed to Jim's Uncle's house. It wasn't exactly welcome news to us and added a bit of stress since we weren't even sure we would be able to fly home the next day due to the snow in Newark...but still we loved getting to spend some time with his sweet uncle and Greendad came over for another visit, so no complaints from me.

Catching Up, 3 Months Worth

2009-02-16T10:16:00.000-08:00

It's been too long since I posted...but you know how it goes...the longer you put something off, the more it piles up and the harder it is to get it done. The holidays were busy and in truth, for this family they start in mid October and don't end till New Years. They're over now though and it's time to fill you in on what's been going on.

Jarrett and Cara helping with the leaves.

A little break from the leaves.

A pic from our time in gymnastics.

Jarrett was practicing his different "face emotions". This was sad.

Worried.

Happy.

Mad. Around this time he started asking us all "you happy?" "You sad?" and so on. It was kind of funny at first, then started giving me a complex, and then flat out got on my nerves. We finally had to just put a ban on it.

The breakfast birthday gift.

The real party.

Not long after we gave J this shirt for his birthday he started blaming everything on Cara. We ask "Jarrett, did you take the book off the table?" He says "No, it was Gigi Cuh-wuh." Or, we ask "Jarrett, did you toot-toot?" and again, "No, it was Gigi Cuh-wuh." I think that shirt may have been an omen.

Jarrett wanted to go to the zoo for his birthday. Holy Cow it was cold!

Treats from the zoo gift shop. I don't know if Cara really wanted a tiger, but Jarrett told her she did and she was set on it after that.

Jarrett and Daddy had a good time with his birthday Legos.

This has nothing to do with anything but this fella hangs out in our backyard from time to time and I just think he is beautiful.

Jarrett's Greendad sent him this moustache for his birthday. Greendad wears one himself and J is fascinated with it. In fact, in our family version of The Wheels on the Bus, J sings "the Greendad on the bus says 'grow a moustache'.

Of course Cara had to give it a try.

J's preschool had the cutest holiday program. It was too funny...Jarrett spent the previous month practicing his songs all the time at home and the work they did on it sort of turned a leaf for him in terms of loving music and wanting to sing. However, when it came time to for the actual program, he got shy and spent a good amount of the time with his hand in his mouth. (which is actually an improvement over last years finger in the nose) Now, there was another little girl there (not pictured) who sang it ALL...every word of every song but one. And she never missed a line. She was maybe 4, completely off key... and amazing. The little girl to the left of J is our friend Linda. She is actually closer to Cara's age but has a brother Oscar that is Jarrett's age and good buddy.

J looks to be consulting his list before talking to Santa.

We had a Christmas party at the house one day for some of Jarrett and Cara's friends. The kids made ornaments and decorated cookies. Our friend Samantha (Oscar and Linda's mommy) brought delicious pizza from her restaurant. A good time was had by all!

Christmas stockings.

What Santa left in the playroom.

Pandemonium at the tree.

Truly needs no explanation.

We felt like we were living The Christmas Story...this is a picture of our Christmas night dinner...Chinese takeout. All we were missing was the Bumpass' dogs. You wouldn't believe how busy that place was. Took forever to get our food but was worth the wait since I didn't take the turkey out of the freezer soon enough and it was still raw inside at 8 pm. Well, any of you that have had a holiday meal with me know that it wasn't that far from "per usual".

The Day-After-Christmas meal.

Riding a ferry from West New York, NJ to NYC. The kids loved the ferry ride.

The tree at Rockefeller Center.

We had a great time in NYC...loved the ferry, walking around, and really loved the tree. We ventured to Times Square and it was crazy...I don't know what we were thinking, going there during the holidays. Jim was pushing Cara in the stroller and someone actually fell on it. I was holding Jarrett's hand so tight he kept telling me that it was hurting him, but I was terrified that if I lost hold of his hand I would actually loose him and all I could think about was that he wouldn't really be able to tell anyone what his name was.

Jarrett learned to make a snow angel.

I am not kidding when I tell you that this kid actually came upstairs that morning and said "Argggh". Where does she get this stuff?

Samantha and I took the kids to see Bob the Builder. If you know how I feel about Bob the Builder you get what a testament of my love this was.

Okay, admittedly, Chinese take-out makes for kind of a lame Chinese New Year celebration. I vow to do better next year. The local FCC (Families with Chinese Children) which is not very active, is planning something for late March and we are going to try to go.

Jarrett is playing "Fundamental Fours" basketball. He really likes it and these photos are from their first "game".

Tinky Winky

2008-11-05T11:51:00.000-08:00

Cara has been so funny. She has turned into the bossiest of 2 year olds and talks non-stop. She repeats everything we say and is "reading" her books aloud. She has one that she loves that has a line "no more monkeys jumping on the bed" and when we read it to her we say that line while shaking our finger at the book. The other day I saw her sitting on the floor and shaking her finger, saying "No more bed" very emphatically.

Lately, she has taken to putting her nose about 2 inches from mine and saying "mommy, mommy, mommy" each time with increasing urgency, the final one coming out in a near growl and all the while she is patting each of my cheeks with her tiny hands. Often she just wants my attention but sometimes she wants something else...a pretzel, some Halloween candy or sometimes who knows what. But want it she does, badly.

This morning, she was wondering around in her fleece jammies and a very wet diaper and Jim looked down and her and remarked "she looks like a Teletubby. And she did.

Snowman

2008-11-04T02:44:00.000-08:00

Halloween Weekend

2008-11-02T17:07:00.000-08:00

We had a great Halloween and the kids really got into it. Jarrett because I think he kind of understood what to expect for the first time, and Cara because Jarrett was into it. Jarrett dressed up as a dinosaur and Cara was a mouse...sort of. Couldn't get the girl to keep her hood on, so most of the time she just looked like a woolly toddler.

Jarrett and I had been practicing all week so he would be ready for trick or treating, role playing the whole bit.
Me: Okay, we walk up to our neighbor's door and what do we do?

J: We knock knock knock (pantomiming)

Me: Then, they open their door, and what do you say?

J: Tankoo!

Me: No, not yet, what do you say first?

J: Tricky treating!

Me: That's right! Then what does our neighbor do?

J: Dey give me candy!!!

Me: Uh-huh...then what do you say?

J: Tankoo!

Me: That's right, I think you are ready!

Jarrett had school on Friday and they had a costume party and parade. I pretty much think in this photo Miss Janet might be saying "Jarrett, get back over here". I say that a lot myself.

Let me say there is no amount of tuition discount that could make me take a job in a preschool. It is no place for a control freak.

That evening, and by that I mean afternoon, because around here people start trick or treating around 3 pm, we took the kids around the 'hood for some big fun. Jarrett was absolutely cracking us up. He had a ball and so did Cara though she got tired of walking and carrying her candy bucket...but hey, she's 2, that's a lot of work for a wee one. The routine went much like our above role play with only a few hiccups. The most alarming one was that on the first few houses, as soon as people opened their doors, Jarrett would just walk in and start looking around. We had a tough time convincing him that trick or treating took place on the front porch. Finally, when we knocked on a door and he heard a large dog barking, we were able to convince him that if he didn't want to meet a big dog face to face he might want to stay on the front porch...so he did. But that didn't stop him from craning the entirety of his upper half around our neighbors' legs to take a good look around their homes. Jeez..Nosy Norton!

a brief moment in her hood

Our next door neighbor and babysitter, Katherine. The kids LOVE her, and we do too

I think it is fair to say we enjoyed trick or treating as much as the kids did...it ranked right up there with our former Halloween parties, with a lot less clean up. Still had a hangover though. It was a sugar hangover, but a hangover all the same.

On Saturday we took the kids back to Sesame Place. It was a nice warm day and the last weekend it would be open till next spring. Our tickets were still good. And, I think I mentioned before, it is only 40 minutes away.

She thought this ride looked like it would be fun

Then, once she was in the air, she changed her mind

Enjoying the teacups

She had been dipping her cookie in ketchup. That one's for you, Auntie Carol.

Done With the Weather Bragging

2008-10-28T07:50:00.000-07:00

I think over the last few weeks I have bragged to several of you "down south" that we are actually consistently having better weather than you are. Done! Done with that because I just looked out the front window and it is snowing to beat the band. Here's the crazy thing...it's also thundering. Did you know it could thunder and snow together? I don't think any of it will stick because it's not below freezing...but I think I will stay off the roads just the same. NJ drivers are crazy enough without adding snow, or even heavy rain to the mix.

Okay, maybe it is sticking a bit.

On Friday, Jarrett's school planned a field trip to a pumpkin patch and we all went. It was a gorgeous day and a lot of fun. They also had some animals which I think was Jarrett and Cara's favorite part of being there. Jarrett got a big kick out of feeding the animals which kind of tickled me since he lately seems to have developed a fear of dogs. Full grown ones that is. Cara wasn't so much about putting her hand in the fence to feed them but loved watching Jarrett do it.

On the Hayride

Also in the news, Jim had a birthday last Friday and we had a little celebration. Poor Jarrett, he has celebrated Cara's birthday and now Jim's and he just can't understand why it isn't his yet. I have explained to him that first it was Cara's, then Daddy's, then Halloween, then Jarrett's birthday and I think he may have it now. I think that because everyday, at least 10 times a day, he tells me, ticking each event off on his fingers. "Mommy, first it's Cara's birthday, then Daddy's birthday, then Halloween's birthday, then Jarrett's birthday, right? Yes, Jarrett. "Then I get big Doc, right?" Maybe so, Jarrett. My worry? First thing Saturday morning, he's going to wonder why we aren't celebrating his birthday. Oh, well, a teachable moment.

Friday night, when I was putting Jarrett to bed, he absolutely touched my heart. I was tucking him in and telling him I loved him, saying prayers and all that. As i was about to get up from the side of his bed, he said to me "I want Mommy music". I wasn't sure I understood him so I asked him to repeat himself and he did. So I told him I would turn on his CD as I left the room and he said to me "how 'bout you sing?" so I asked him what did he want me to sing, should I sing the moon song? And he says "no, sing don't cry?" Don't cry? What's don't cry? then he sings "baby don't cry?" And then I knew. He wanted me to sing Baby Mine, which I learned from a cassette (that's how long ago it was) that my sister Lisa copied for me of Disney songs recorded by popular artists. This one happened to have been done by Bonnie Raitt and it has long been one of my favorite songs and one I had dreamed for years (like close to 20 of them) that I would someday sing to my kids. And i have, to both of them, sung it regularly. Partly because it is one of the only songs that I can just sing in its entirety off the top of my head but mostly because I love it. And that busy little boy stared into my eyes the entire time I sang it to him and when I was gave me a big grin and said thank you. Absolutely melted me.

On Saturday, we had tickets to the 3rd game of the World Series in Philadelphia...how exciting is that? We went and had a great time although did not stay for entire game because the weather was awful. It was cold windy and very rainy and we just weren't willing to sit out in it and there was really no place to sit or even stand out of the weather. Now had it been the Cardinals playing, we might have been willing to risk pneumonia for the whole game. Again, still so exciting to have gotten to go at all.

Did you think we were the only babies who wouldn't go to our seats?

Bicycling and Sesame Place

2008-10-20T14:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend, at long last, we (VERY belatedly) celebrated Jarrett's Gotcha Day. He got a new bicycle Friday and we worked with him on learning to ride it. It has training wheels but it's a booger to explain to a four year old how to pedal. Telling him to push down with one foot and let the other one come up doesn't really work so well because inevitably he pushes the wrong way and uses the brake rather than propelling himself forward. If anyone knows the secret to setting this boy free on his wheels, please let us know.

does not like wearing the helmet

But Cara does

On Saturday, we took the kids to Sesame Place in Langhorne, PA. It's kind of like Disney, but smaller and really focussed on younger children. It is only about 40 minutes from here so it was perfect.

Parts of the park are set up to look like the Sesame Street set

and they have tame rides and lots of activities that are interactive.

We went t a little show, that our kids loved and actually sat nicely all the way through it.

We couldn't resist buying the video of Jim and Jarrett on the roller coaster, or "choo-choo train" as Jarrett likes to call it. Take a look, too funny.

We went to a "character dinner" and it was actually a lot of fun and either the food was pretty tasty or we were just hungry. We met Ernie, Bert, the Count, Zoe, Big Bird and the Count. Granted, Jim and I were more excited to meet them than the kids were but it was still alot of fun. Jarrett and Cara were both kind of afraid of the life size characters,

though J did decide that he could be friends with Ernie and Elmo. Cara never did get past wanting to have a long distance relationship with them.

J even scraped up his nerve for an Elmo photo op...well of course, it was Elmo.

After the dinner, we hit the gift shop and then loaded up to head home. We weren't 10 minutes out of the park before we heard some gentle snoring from the back seat, and I confess, I wasn't far behind them! Poor Jim...but I guess that's what you get when you make fun of your wife's driving.

has her blankie hanging out of her mouth. I guess she fell asleep mid-blankie-chew

She's Two, Part 2

2008-10-13T18:05:00.000-07:00

Tonight, we finally had a birthday meal (lasagna) cupcakes and opened presents. I don't think Cara had one clue as to what it was all about and Jarrett was most certainly confused, but it was a fun night. More so for Cara than for J, certainly.

The poor little guy kept on saying "I want Doc" as Cara began opening a gift or card. We would say " we know, maybe on your birthday" but I don't think he ever got it. He's been asking us for Doc, a car that is a character from the movie Cars, for what seems like forever and we've been telling him that he has enough toys and that he can ask for Doc for his birthday if he wants to. Then, he has been hearing all about it being Cara's birthday and I'm not sure he made the distinction. I just looked through the photos and he just looked so happy, so full of hope at the beginning of the party and by the end, he just looks kind of like he pasted a smile on his face to be polite.

Cara's main gift from us is a toy kitchen and I think we may have found something she loves. Right now, we don't have a kitchen table so we set it up in the breakfast nook with the kids' toy table and chairs and she really went to town in it and brought Jim and I lots of things to "taste" until we dragged her little exhuasted self off to bed.

Enjoy the photos and know we love you!

Note Jarrett's joy at the sight of the plastic ice cream cone

Greens, Tomato and White Bean Soup

2008-10-13T14:28:00.000-07:00

I made this the other night and it was so tasty. I adapted a recipe from our newspaper and we all loved it, even the kids. And best of all...it was SO EASY!

1 T. Olive Oil
1 small yellow onion, chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1 box chicken broth
2 cans diced roasted tomatoes
3/4 c. whole grain orzo or other small pasta
1/4 t. crushed red pepper
1/4 t. ground black pepper
1/2 c. water
1 can canellini beans, rinsed
4 cups chopped dandelion greens or escarole (I used escarole)
Parmesan for sprinkling

In large pot over medium high heat, heat the oil. Add the onion and garlic and saute until the onions are soft and translucent.

Add the broth through water and bring to a simmer and cook until the pasta is tender. About 6 minutes.

Add the beans and greens, then cook, stirring often, until the greens are tender. About another 5 minutes. Serve sprinkled with cheese.

(serves 4)

She's Two

2008-10-13T10:06:00.000-07:00

This weekend we celebrated Cara's 2nd birthday...sort of. The actual day was Saturday the 11th but we were still unpacking, installing toilets and having a garage sale; so we didn't do anything on Saturday. Oh the joy of parenting the oblivious toddler.

On Sunday, since it was a beautiful day, we took the kids to Sandy Hook beach at the Jersey shore. We had heard it is the closest actual beach to where we live and was really pretty. The oldest functioning lighthouse in the nation is there and we went to see it. We then parked near the beach and started walking. Jarrett loved it but Cara wasn't so sure. She hated walking in the sand -- I wasn't all that surprised since she hated walking on grass for months. Still, it was a nice way to spend the afternoon. We tried ot eat a picnic snack on a beach blanket but the kids were totally thrown off by that. I think partly because we don't often do picnics or even eat outside...our fault! And then also, because they just couldn't stop putting their hands in the sand which meant the snack was sandy...their own silly fault! So, for the kids, the snacks were kind of a bust...too bad, as it was DELICIOUS muffins from the neighborhood bakery. Yes, I said it, neighborhood bakery. Did I also mention there is a neighborhood ice cream parlor? What a happy place this is!

Okay, back to the beach...we also saw lots of dogs there. I gotta tell you, people in Jersey love their dogs. Everyone seems to have at least one. It's rubbing off on me a little bit. I have caught myself doing sneaky perusals of the classified domestic pet ads. We met one dog at the beach named Felix. He was a six month old French Bulldog. He should have been named Mellow Yellow. What an easy going little guy. Cara loved him.

We got enough of the beach and began the long slow trek back to the car - then began the short slower trek from the beach road to the main road where we would actually begin heading home. By short and slow I mean 2 miles in 1 hour. By the time we got home, it was too late to cook, too late to open presents, too late to have our cupcakes. So, the birthday celebration will continue tonight. I am going to post some photos of the beach now and some party photos tomorrow.

Having some fun in our Sunday best

How cute is this dog?

Holy Cow! That's NYC!

We're Ready!

2008-09-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

I took a trip to Target a few weeks ago, and the check out girl told us we better get our winter gear, NOW. She warned that as soon as a weather person utters the word "snow" the stuff literally flies off the shelves. I asked her where do you get snow boots and the like and she grinned and said "right here, of course". Of course.

So, last week I went back to Target and got us all snow boots and coats, hats and mittens for the kids. Getting them to put it all on for the photo was easy; getting them to take it off and let me put it away was another matter entirely.

We've been told by several people since we moved here that one of the reasons we are going to love living in NJ is the mild weather. "We don't have tornadoes, hurricanes, or much winter weather at all." I gotta tell you their Target tells a different story about the winter weather. There were 3, yes 3, aisles in shoes devoted to winter boots for the entire family. There were 2 large rounders of heavy winter coats in the babies and toddlers department. I think we are in for it.

Green Acres

2008-09-23T07:26:00.001-07:00

So you thought we moved to the big city? Think again. We see a ground hog, bunnies, chipmunks and squirrels, regulary, in our backyard. The whole town stops to let the geese cross the street. Click the link below to see what was toodlin' down the street a couple of weeks ago.

http://www.mycentraljersey.com/apps/pbcs.dll/gallery?Site=CN&Date=20080907&Category=NEWS0102&ArtNo=809070801&Ref=PH&Params=Itemnr=1

Proof of Justice in This World...or an Auntie Conspiracy

2008-09-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

Just in case you thought there was no justice in this world, no fairness, no sense of order and logical turn of events...Jarrett has begun a new thing, and from what I understand, I have it coming to me. Lately, for the past week or so, J is asking "why?" to everything we say. To things we tell him and to answers we give to his own questions.

Jarrett: Mommy, I go to Target and get Doc?
Me: No, we aren't getting any new toys for awhile, maybe for your birthday.
Jarrett: Why?
Me: Because you have lots of toys already to play with.
Jarrett: Why?
and so on.

Or...
Me: Okay, lets go home and make lunch.
Jarrett: Why?

Argghhh!!!!!!!!!!! Mom, Dad, Robert, Carol (and okay, even Jim, even now) I'm sorry. From the bottom of my pea-pickin heart.

Another One to Add to Our List

2008-09-20T13:43:00.000-07:00

I guess every place we live, we have to check out the ER. On Thursday afternoon, Jarrett and Cara were playing in her room and J saw a book on a high shelf he wanted to get to. So he started to climb the shelf, and she started to climb the shelf, and it pulled out enough to knock some items off the higher shelves and one of them split his little head open. Just above and to the left of the last split of his that took us to the ER. Sheesh. The kid is going through life forehead first, apparently.

It has been my nightmare that he would require a trip to the ER while I was at home alone with he and Cara because I haven't been sure of just how I would handle it. And of course, it happened, just days after our move across the country to a place where we have no family and no friends yet. Yeah! What timing! Thank goodness for our new neighbors...they absolutely came to the rescue. The 12 yr old daughter stayed with Cara and the mom actually drove us there so that I wouldn't have to find it on my own. A lifesaver, I am not kidding.

Once we got to the ER, J's poor noggin had stopped bleeding but they said he still needed 3 stitches, which was pretty awful but quick and now he's doing fine. We went back this morning for a wound check and they said everything looks good and stitches can come out on Tues. For his part, Jarrett is milking it for all it's worth. Anytime we tell him something he doesn't want to hear, like "no", he throws his hand up to his head, turns down the corners of his mouth in almost a cartoonish look of despair and says "but I have boo-boo!"

My only concern now is that, after 4 trips to the ER in less than 2 years, someone is going to alert the authorities.

An Advance in Napping

2008-04-10T10:51:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, napping gives me the willies. Or just bedtime at all. It is the part of parenting that is most likely to make me call my skills and decisions in to question. I always feel it should be easier to put a tired child down for a nap, or to bed; that I should be doing it differently, or that I made a mistake.
Jarrett has never been a good napper, or all that good about going to bed at night either, unless it is pitch dark in the room. Certain times of the day, or even the year, that's an impossible requirement unless we are staying in a hotel. However, even though he fights sleeping, he is generally pretty cheerful about being in his bed, or previously, his crib. He's just not quietly cheerful.
Cara is a whole different ball of wax. She is at best, deeply offended to be placed in her crib;, and at worst, beside herself with grief. At naps and at night, we have had to rock her to sleep and then sneak her into her bed. When she wakes up and screams bloody murder, we have to get her out. Not a big problem at naptime as she will generally sleep at least an hour and a half; but at night, she wakes up about 2 am and by the time we get to her, she is so upset that she doesn't settle back down into a deep and non-tossing sleep for hours. And, since she is in our bed by then, no one does.
I've been thinking a lot about this, feeling kind of badly about sneaking her into her bed, sort of deceitful really. And also worrying that for the long haul, we are not setting up good habits of her not knowing how to go to sleep comfortably in her crib. So today, as naptime approached and I was filled with dread, even contemplating just skipping nap, or laying down with her. She was exhausted, but I wasn't and really was looking forward to a couple of hours to do something I wanted to do. So, I trudged up the stairs with her and as I got to the landing, I had an idea to rock her, read her a story, just like we do every day but instead of rocking her till she was asleep, I placed her in her crib fully awake and spoke to her cheerfully and rubbed her tummy then walked to the other side of her room and began to pick up toys and put them away. She began to cry, but without conviction, she mostly looked and sounded confused, since this was a new approach. Then I left the room to go to Jarrett's and she cried a little louder. I finished what I was doing there and returned to her room and spoke to her a little more and rubbed her tummy again, and restarted the cycle. We went through this over and over for about 10 minutes till she was nearly calm and the upstairs was picked up and then I came downstairs. As I descended I heard her crying increase again, so I took something to the kitchen where I couldn't hear her and then returned upstairs, to find her sniffling in her sleep. I put a few more things away to see that she got to a deep sleep, totally calm, untricked!
I won't say she went willingly to it, but I can see us getting to that point from here more than I can if we continue to trick her into sleeping in her crib. I feel pretty good about this, and I feel really good that we can practice it at naptime when the daylight has the room illuminated enough for me to see to do a little clean up and when Jarrett is at school and not adding another distraction.

A New Blog

2008-04-09T09:42:00.001-07:00

We have been home from China for 5 days now, and I find that I miss journaling on our Baby Jellybeans site. I could keep it up there but in it's way it is sort of un-handy, so I am going to try blogging. I am hoping it is as cathartic as the BJB was. I certainly enjoy reading those of some of my adoptive friends.

Cara is sleeping, an early nap as it happens. Usually, we try to keep to her foster mother's schedule and eat lunch around 11 and put her down for a nap in the neighborhood around 12. Today though, she ate a huge snack and when we laid down on my bed to watch a bit of tv, she played with me and snuggled and then suddenly she was still, with her head on my tummy. I looked down and she was softly snoring away. It occured to me what a lot I've learned since coming home 20 months ago with Jarrett. That would've thrown me into a tailspin when I was such a new mommy. "Oh my Lord...I have to get him UP! He can't sleep NOW! We MUST stick to the schedule!" Jarrett has been a precious gift to me in countless ways, a gift to everyone who knows him...but he has taught me so much and one of his greatest lessons has been to lighten up; most things just don't matter that much. So she sleeps now, she'll eat a little later than usual and maybe we won't get ALL our errands done before we pick brother up from school...big deal. She's so precious and so still. I cannot bear to wake her, and what would be the point of that anyway?

Another contrast...my bed's unmade, my house is still cluttered with the things you buy for a trip to China, bring home unused and don't know where they belong because they didn't live in your house before you bought them for a trip to China and didn't end up using them, or using them all...and so it goes. But, the difference is this clutter is not pushing me toward the edge of the cliff...I have plenty of time to clean up later, a whole lifetime to find homes for umpteen little tiny packages of Kleenex. For now, I think I will lay back down and spoon my sleeping beauty.